When you change, people might like you or not. But the truth is, you shouldn’t unchange your changes :)
I’ve already written a post about those unpleasant situations, where some one that you like, changes, and the result of those changes, simply cannot be acceptable by you! You cannot understand the reasons of those changes and you can’t love the new person you’ve known previously, anymore.
So, the solution I suggested, or the approach I took to confront that scenario of life, was that I used to accept it. I chose to accept the new personality in front of me, replaced that with the picture I’ve already had from that person, and then decided to make a new decision, to determine whether or not, I want to like that person, be in contact with her/him from now on, or not.
But now, this time I want to talk about “that” same subject, but with a little bit “shift” in the angle I use to look at it. In my last post, about changing people and the problems it brings to both sides of a relationship, I talked about the person who meets the new changes. This time I wanna talk about the person who “changes” itself, who brings the new changes. The person who thinks that maybe it’s time to make new decisions, take new approaches, maybe act a little bit different than the past.
And then, for that poor person -Well! Not that much bad. But typically, it’s not an easy task to do, when you want to change and the others simply won’t accept you! - comes a pretty hard time of thinking, if the persons she/he has, will stay with him/her or not. Whether they will accept that new personality or not. And well, the fucking word "CHAGNE", comes always with its own special type of hardships to overcome, don't you think? :)
When a change occurs, it’s definitely hard for both sides of a relationship to deal with it.Because something new is about to "swap" the reality and “Remodel” it – Remodeling! God damn it! One of the hardest things in the world to do, at least for me.
The person who meets the new changes must confront this bitter reality that “Well, people change! Learn to deal with it honey!” and the person who brings those changes, must again confront with a hard reality, “People won’t always be by your side. There might come moments in the life that a person might simply stop to love you again, because of your changes. So, you, dear! Have some kind of hurtful realities to deal with them too!”
So, what? What I’m trying to say is that when you think you may want to “Change”, DO change! Simply do it! And let the others to come to this question, once again, “If they want to stay with you, or not.” But, for the God’s sake, don’t deny your new self! Because it will probably hurt most!
But wait! Can’t we just suggest another type of solution, which might be a little more efficient, and may be with less amount of pain required?
Can’t we just accept the changes? Giving ALL persons around us the same right to make changes in themselves, and then again love them? This way, the new law can be executable for all of us. We can change, you can change, just as much as I can. We don’t have to “correct” ourselves to fit in our communities anymore. Every one can be anyone they want, as long as they won’t cause the others or their freedom problems.
You know the reason I came with this new idea was that while I was thinking about people and their relationships and the hardships of moments that a change in one or both sides of a relationship occurs, I was like “Oh dear! Just look at it! How hard it is, when you have to leave people you like, just because they’ve gotten a little bit different, maybe a little bit more or a little bit less! And you can’t let your heart -and your mind- open enough just to accept the reality that no one is perfect, so anyone is very much free to make any kind of decision to her/his life and any kind of changes to her/his personality.”
See? If you accept it, that no one is an absolute FACT. No one is an “Unchangeable Theorem”, everything would start to get much more delightful as well as endurable. And this way, chances are, you wouldn’t have to bother considering another inner court, just to decide whether you have to leave this person too, or not!
And if all the others, at least most of them, start to understand this simple, yet powerful law, the word “Change” would be an easier task for everyone, including you :)
What do you think? Another point of view? Please let me know about it.