فیلاسوفا یعنی دوستدار خرد، و نه خردمند! / !It means the lover of wisdom, but not being the wise person at all

دیشب، وقتی که من یک صورت فلکی دیدم

...اما دیشب، من یک صورت فلکی دیدم. از کودکی که شیفته زل زدن به این چراغانی پرهیاهو بودم، این اولین بارم بود که لحظه شکوهمند شکار یک صورت فلکی را تجربه می کردم، و مثل چیزی در هیبت یک منجم، ستاره ها را دانه دانه نگاه کردم و عاقبت نامش را یافتم، (گوگل هم کمک کرد =) ) سه ستاره پشت سر هم در آسمان، اسمش، "جبار" بود...

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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati

مهاجرت کنید، رادیو دال بشنوید و میراث آلبرتا ببینید

خب، دقیقش را بخواهم بگویم، شاید به خاطر همین باشد که هیچ وقت قصه گوی به آن صورت "خوبی" نشدم! :) از همان زنگ های انشای سال پنجم دبستان، که با یک مهاجرت دست کم "فرهنگی" بزرگ در زندگی ام روبه رو شدم – و شاید به خاطر همین هم بود که ناگهان زبانم باز شد و افتادم روی دور حرف ها و خیال پردازی های طولانی در زنگ های انشا- بلد نبودم خیلی زیبا و فریبنده مقدمه و موخره و بدنه متن سر هم کنم...

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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati

هنر محدود کردن رنگ ها

رنگ ها را خیلی دوست دارم. دوست دارم چیز های جدید، رنگ های جدید، دنیا های جدید، تند و تند، به زندگی ام، اضافه شوند.

دوست دارم زندگی ام رنگ به رنگ باشد. مثل یک منشور، زیر نور آفتاب زمان که می گیری اش، تمام آنچه که از رنگ در خَلق وجود دارد را، آشکار کند. هر رنگ ممکنی، هر رنگ موجودی.

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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati

از چالش های "زن" بودن در این مرز و بوم. چرا مرد بودن کارخفنی به حساب می آید، در زمانه ای که "زن" بودن عملا کار دشوارتری ست؟

...در جامعه ای که من زندگی می کنم، به یک دختر، قبل از اینکه بیاموزند چگونه یک انسان خوب باشد، آموزشش می دهند که چطور یک "دختر" خوب باشد...

..."زن" بودن، الحق و الانصاف که کار سخت تری ست. فقط آنچه برایم هنوز گنگ و نامعلوم است، این است که چرا در یک چنین زمانه ای که "زن" بودن بعد از کار در معدن در رده ی سخت ترین کار های دنیا قرار می گیرد، هنوز هم خیلی ها به "مرد" بودن خود، تا به این اندازه احمقانه می بالند؟...

...در یکچنین زمانه ای، چگونه می توان زن بود و انسان مابانه هم زیست؟ چگونه می توان زن ماند و انسان بود؟ وقتی از حقوق انسانی برابری برخوردار نیستیم...

...شاید اینگونه، اول خودمان به این باور برسیم، که پیش از هر زن یا مرد بودنی، ما همگی انسان متولد شده ایم...


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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati

بیاید والس گوش کنیم :)

 

 

...و، وسط این همه دوراهی و چندراهی که زندگی گذاشته جلو پام، یه وقتاییم لازمه یه خرده به مغزت استراحت بدی (یا بهتره بگم به دهنِ مغزت استراحت بدی و  چند دقیقه ای هم به سکوت و آرامش بگذرونی.) 

راحته. میری بیرون، نون می خری و خامه. میای خونه، مربا و خامه و نون و یه لیوان بزرگ چای داغ برای خودت می چینی توی سینی، میای میشینی توی اتاقت، پنجره رو باز می کنی، هوای تازه و صدای تهرانِ تازه از خواب بیدار شده میاد تو، و یه چیز دیگه...

"والس"

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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati

Want to know people better? Serve coffee to them

OK, so let’s talk about the first months of being in a Starbucks kind of dream :)

So, before anything else I’d just like to mention that like everybody elses, I might have kind of mistakes -maybe even the stupid ones in my posts. I do have them even when I use to write in the blog in my mother language, I mean the Persian, and I really like to remind that I’m not that much perfect at English so if you ever feel uncomfortable about something wrong in my grammar, or vocabulary or just any kind of mistake, please feel free to easily -and of course kindly :) – make me aware of them, so I can improve myself as well as writing greater posts in the future.

So, where was I? Oh, yeah, about that kind of Starbucks dream, wasn’t I? Yes. You know around six or maybe seven months ago -I don’t know exactly- I got to attend my first internship course ever in my whole life. And it was weird. God I’m not gonna exaggerate, cause it was really weird, I mean, I don’t actually need to be exaggerating about this kind of stuff, cause it has just right amount of weirdness on its whole own!

And, after two or I don’t know maybe three months later, I felt like something is broken, you know. I liked that, God I REALLY used to be crazy freaking out about that, when I realized that I could actually BE in a Tech company this soon, at this age – I mean before even starting the college, at 20 :) But, after a while, I just felt that although it’s holly crap a dreamy situation, it isn’t satisfying enough for my soul, or brain -or gut, or God, anything else, cause I don’t really care from where it was, I can only remember the pain I did feel from deep inside, and it was consuming me, like a vampire all in my days. So, I started to feel not right about that anymore. Like something was wrong, something was not fitting enough, I don’t know maybe the place was good, only I wasn’t fitting well, all I know is that we simply weren’t getting along together very well. And, long story short, I just decided to talk to my supervisor and tell him that I’m gonna quit this internship, and I still wonder -or maybe not- that he did already knew it by himself, and I don’t know exactly, maybe I had already shown him my disinterest in that experience. And as simple as that, I quit that position. 

I was looking for another thing, I don’t know maybe I just thought that my workplace and my kind of work, was the only thing that is hard to make money from in the world, but now here’s the thing, little did I know that it was NOT :)

Yes! So, I gave a little time thinking about it, I don’t know maybe two or three weeks, and I made my decision, I quit that company, talked to a person -not really a friend I knew- and guess what, started to work in the café she had opened recently :)

And I was holly crap excited about it. The whole thing I mean, like I thought in the whole world there's definitely not gonna be a better, nicer, easier, more interesting way of working available to me! – Yeah, I know, just another fancier thought, or I’d better say illusion I had, on the topic of how this world actually works :)

So, I started it. Started to be a barista, I don’t know sometimes a waitress, and some other times a simple worker who washes some dishes or maybe sweeps up the ground, and all other different kind of things you can imagine a person may do in a café in order to have it running actually. 

But don’t get me wrong, I still sometimes get to love it. It’s not ALL that bad -OK, most of the time, I think it just gets a little hard, maybe impossible to love, but it still has some kind of valuable experiences in the heart of it that you wouldn’t get the chance to know, or even simply KNOW THAT YOU DON’T KNOW, if you weren’t here.

OOPS!

So, OK, as far as I left this post unfinished last night -I was really tired, OK, LAZY!- I can’t really remember what kind of “valuable experiences” I was talking about last night, so, let’s just start kind of from the beginning and try to explain a little for you, what it actually takes to make money, brewing and serving coffee to people :)

You’ll get to work with people more than the coffee here

So, first thing first, you’ll get to get along with people more than you think. It can all start with a little change in the prices, or maybe the food doesn’t taste good, or the customers are just being total noisy -Oh it’s just a headache, you need to believe me in that one :)))) But it doesn’t matter, really, it doesn’t really matter that they’re being a little bit illogical, or complaining all the time about the problems that aren’t even YOUR fault or responsibilities :) You’ve gotta be still patient, understanding, and SMILING, I’m not kidding, cause you don’t know how much hard it can get, trying to keep that smile fixed to your face even when you’re gonna be literally blowing up.

P.S:

Never mind. I’m really trying to get along with that one, since it’s been really three months of starting it, I think it is a good time to finally pass over the “People Nightmare” eventually, isn’t it? :)

“People Nightmare” things are everywhere, not just your career!

One of the other things that I learnt is that no matter in what kind of profession you really are, there’d always be hardships, specially the “People Nightmares” kind of things. There’d always be people out there who are not gonna simply understand about your rights or the amount of their rights, so they’ll simply gonna ruin your day -if you let them! And you should really learn to be cooler and always working on your capacity of illogical things, cause it’s not gonna have a limitation eventually.

Starts always suck, no matter the start of what thing we’re discussing about :)

The other one: starting a new career, is always hard, being it a programming kind of thing or as simple as serving a cup of tea to people, unless you haven’t had previous experiences on them, it would take some time for you to become capable of doing those jobs properly in a level that people would actually want to pay you for what you do.

Re-evaluating your knowledge of humanity, just everyday

One other thing, when you decide to work in an environment with the smell of coffee, you, want it or not, get to see people and know people and communicate with people a lot. And this really helps you kind of observe a lot in the human nature, you’ll be wondered at the variety the human world can have inside itself. Some people will be really nice, patient and kind, and, on the other hand, some others would be just a piece of shit in front of you :) And you know, when you get to a position that you have to work with a lot of people every day, you unconsciously start to evolve your encyclopedia of people. Like you would -after a while- really know better, if the person in front of you is an angle one, or one of those evil ones that are extremely time and peace consuming machines on their own. You know, you get to really appreciate kindness and humanity after a while, simply because you get to see a lot of its opposites. And it was a really good thing that I don’t think I would have gotten in another workplace, too.

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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati

Can't change! It's too scary bro

When you change, people might like you or not. But the truth is, you shouldn’t unchange your changes :)

...no one is an absolute FACT. No one is an “Unchangeable Theorem"...think you may want to “change”? DO change! Simply do it! But for the God’s sake, don’t deny your new self! Because it will probably hurt most!...

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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati

I have a plant, her name is She


...And I started to think about it… What is the purpose of the life of the "She"? What is the purpose of her or maybe a friend of her, a pine tree, a weeping willow? Do they know it, ever?! I don't think so. I think a sunflower would never think about the purpose of her life. Or a pine tree, does he do that, every day, with each raise of the sun, or each shine of the moon, does he ask it from himself? I don't think so...
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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati

(: First day of working, and what it was like for me on earth

It was the first day of working. I've just arrived from there. And if you ask me what it was like on earth, I would say that it was weird! Weirder than weird! More than anything else, I felt being useless, the word not said by me, but seen by me in one of the posts I've recently read about the kind of feelings you might have in the first time of being an intern as a software engineer, on my way back home. Despite feeling useless -and stronger than that- I felt monotony. I felt I was bored. There were a lot of things which I weren't aware of and I just didn't know where to start from for learning them! I-didn't-even-know-where- to start learning them! I liked some of the guys I saw there and I didn't feel something special about some others. There were some one that showed me interest and kindness and someone else who weren't least interested to know me or even say "hello" to me! But that's just how the life works it works! Nothing is even! Everything is a mixture! The good and the bad, the happiness and the sadness, the friends and the enemies! It's all right and OK to be that way. It's all beautiful to be that way.

Today I felt a little anxious, a little useless, maybe a little alone and weird, too!

 

But I hope it'll all be passed and resolved two or three months later. I hope my anxiety will be reduced by beginning the collage and meeting a lot of new people there. I hope my extreme lack of knowledge will be eliminated by the pass of time and studying a whole new era of things in college. I hope my coldness and my state of feeling "strange" will be melted through the pass of the time there. I will make friends with some of my coworkers and will learn a "lot" of things from just each individual there. I hope the experience of working there would bring a new "me" to me! A new person, new personality and new strengths. 

Although it was all weird and strange to me, I can't say that I didn't like it. After all it was my first experience of being a free adult in a free place, where absolutely nothing more is expected from me than only focusing and doing what I do love most in this whole world. The computers. After all, I've finally reached a place where the one and only one responsibility expected from me to meet, is being concerned about computers and to make the work they do as great as possible. What the damn would a geek like me want more than this in her life?... :)  


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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati

قبول؟ قبول! :)

...مثلا برای خودم نمونه همچین موردی پیش اومده. آدمی رو می شناختم. (می گم می شناختم، چون فقط در گذشته این فعل صحیح بوده.) و حالا اون آدم تغییر کرده. تغییراتی که خوشایند من نیست... پذیرفتن هیچ وقت نگفته که تو مجبوری با آدمی که صرفا می تونی "بپذیریش" و نه بیشتر، نزدیک و صمیمی باقی بمونی...

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کمند سعادتی / Kamand Sa'adati